My son and I have just returned from camping in Dorset with two of his friends and their dads. At the risk of sounding old, I have quite a romantic view of camping as an opportunity to spend a few nights under the stars with only a rucksack on your back, toasting marshmallows over a campfire, eating tinned sausages and, if you were lucky, a small bottle of ‘Schnaps’ to finish off. In the morning, you’d let a steaming cup of tea slowly bring you back to life while you listen to birdsong and plan the day ahead.

If you’ve been to a campsite recently, you’ll know that when people invite you to go camping, that’s rarely what they mean. In place of a lush field with a simple tap and loo, I found a burger van and a farm shop, and all around us bright orange electrical sockets beckoned visitors to attach their myriad gadgets. Instead of an escape to a simpler, less complicated life, camping has become the new way of impressing the neighbours with the latest technology. Putting up a tent by hand? Not if you have inflatable poles and an electric pump. Pasta and warm beer for dinner? Your portable fire pit, hotplate and mini fridge will see to that. Singing songs by the fire? The latest film projected onto a makeshift screen is far more enticing. 

It was made all the worse by the absence of women in our group. Not only was there an excess of gadgets, there was also the unbridled desire of each alpha male to demonstrate their unsurpassed ability to use them. From the exact angle in which to pitch a tent into the wind to the perfect way to barbecue a chicken wing, everyone knew exactly what to do and was certainly not going to take any advice from anyone else. Of course, infallibility wasn’t limited to gadgets but extended to map reading and cloud-based rain forecasting too. Combined with a tendency to tell tall tales from the past (“once I had to chase away a bear…”), humility was in desperately short supply. 

Unfortunately, as it is with camping, it is often in office environments too. Everyone is an expert on everything, even if they really haven’t got a clue — particularly men. More often than not, people are afraid to admit that they don’t know how to do something, as they’re worried about losing face, and humility goes out the window. Of course, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t believe in your abilities or undersell yourself: If you really are a whiz at PowerPoint or amazing at creating financial models, then make sure the message is heard loud and clear and soon enough, your co-workers will seek out your expertise in these areas. 

At the same time, if you don’t really know the answer to a question or the best way of doing things, then be upfront about it and say so. It’ll avoid awkward conversations later when the truth eventually comes out, plus you’ll actually learn something along the way. Trust me, after they’ve overcome their initial shock, your colleagues will find it surprisingly refreshing when you admit that no, you’re not an expert on French legal matters and that really we should ask someone who is.

I know this may sometimes feel uncomfortable, particularly if you think that what you’re asking is a stupid question. To give you confidence in asking it anyway, here is my totally unscientific estimate of what happens when you ask what you believe is a stupid question:

• 50% of the time, the question is relatively basic, but people will be very happy to patiently explain the answer. Hence, you’ll gain a bit of kudos for your humility and you’ll make others feel good for looking knowledgeable.
• 45% of the time, the question is actually rather insightful and one that others have been meaning to ask for ages but were too scared to. Hence, you’ll gain major kudos for your humility and bravery.
• Only 5% of the time is the question truly a little stupid and everyone looks at you mildly baffled. You might lose a bit of kudos but people will have forgotten by the next day.

When you add to this the benefit of getting the answer to your question (rather than staying confused) then I think on balance it’s definitely worth sticking your neck out and asking. Even if it does take a little bravery, you’ll be better off overall. 

Action

Write down a stupid question that you’ve been meaning to ask for a while, then figure out where you could best ask it. Now all you need to do is to pluck up the courage and actually do it!